


Truths on holiday

by Sophiablue90



Series: Love, laughs and trouble with the ADA [7]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Disney World & Disneyland, F/M, Holidays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-01 10:06:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6513772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophiablue90/pseuds/Sophiablue90
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rafael, you and your daughter take a long awaited trip to Disneyland. But it isn't all laughter and fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Oh dear, what have I done..

'Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr swoosh swoosh errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.'

You laughed with Luci as you held her above the bed, moving her through the air like a aeroplane, imitating engine sounds as you dipped and raised her. She reached her arms down to grab at her target below - a sleeping Rafael as he lay unaware of the giggling and motions above. At a particularly low swoop, she caught his nose in her tiny fists and held tightly, roaring with glee when Rafael woke up startled. He first saw his daughter hovering above him with arms and legs stretched out for landing on his chest. He then looked at you through bleary eyes before catching Luci and bringing her to his lips for kisses.

"Buenos dias Luci, what has naughty mummy been up to eh?"

He let her wriggle out of his arms onto the soft bed and kept an cautious eye on her as you sat on the mattress beside him.

"Don't I get a morning kiss?" You teased as you lightly stroked his leg. He smirked as he pulled your face to his and kissed you briefly. You sulked and and went back for a longer one.

"How long have you two been awake for? I thought this was a holiday" he asked as he let out a loud yawn. He searched with his hand for Luci, who had snuggled in the duvet beside him.

You smiled as you watched him check on her, he was always concerned about her safety. The three of you had finally made it to Disneyland. Rafael had rescheduled the trip twice, citing last minute cases. You were relieved when you had arrived eventually at your hotel late last night. Rafael immediately went to bed, exhausted after nonstop play and storytelling with Luci on the plane. Luci had loved being on the plane, which was unusual for young children so when you checked on her in the cot this morning and found her awake, you thought you'd start the fun early.

"Do you want to go out for breakfast or order in?" You asked, hoping Rafael said the former. You watched his eyelids flutter heavily before closing again. You felt bad for waking him, he had been working long hours and tough trials that had left him shattered when he came home. He had just enough energy for Luci in the evenings before collapsing in bed later, the only attention you would get was an elbow or knee lodged in your back during the night.

Luci noticed her papi's eyes closed and crawled over to him, squeezing his nose so he would wake again. This time he wasn't so amused.

"Luci stop it!" He looked at her, then at you sternly. He rested his arm over his eyes and let out a deep breath. You got the message clear.

"We can walk round for a bit and bring breakfast back with us. Give you a bit more rest" you said softly as you picked up Luci, ignoring her incoherent pleas to stay with her papi. Rafael grunted in response to you and pulled the covers around him higher. You grabbed clothes from your bags for you and Luci and headed to her room to change. 

Twenty minutes later you pushed Luci in her buggie out of the hotel lobby into the theme park. You could see her eyes widen with absolute wonder. Life-sized teacups filled with loud children spinning with lights and sounds. Splashes of water from the water rides. Distant roars of dinosaurs from the Jurassic world park. Colourful characters waving and hugging kids. You were both stopped by Micky Mouse who asked if your daughter wanted a picture. Luci's legs started kicking with excitement as she studied the life-size mouse stood in front of her. You nodded and silently made a note to get another when Rafael was up and in a better mood. After several photos, you and Luci headed to the gift shop. Luci reached out for all the soft toys within arm's length. She seemed particularly fond of a white snowman with an orange carrot nose. You brought it to the cash till, as well as three Mouse ear headbands. With the snowman tight in Luci's grip, you checked your watch. You hadn't realised you had been gone for two hours and it was now early afternoon. At a nearby food stand you bought pancakes, pretzels and coffee. The smell from the food made your mouth water and made you realise you hadn't eaten. Luci would also be hungry soon for her next feed, although she seemed to be too preoccupied with her surroundings to think of food.

You were back at the hotel room. You unbuckled Luci from the stroller and carried her and snowman into the bedroom where Rafael had been sleeping. The bed covers were tossed and crinkled. You could hear the shower running so you headed back to the living room to feed Luci. Minutes later, Rafael appeared and picked up a coffee beaker before sitting beside you two on the sofa.

"Who's this Luci? He looks very friendly" he waved the toy in front of her, making her laugh. He turned to you,

"About this morning.."

"It's OK, I should have let you sleep."

He nodded once as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. "What did you do anyway?"

"Just walked around, got a photo with a few characters. Oh and.." You shuffled Luci onto his lap so you could fetch your bag. You returned and quickly planted a pair of mouse ears onto his head. He pursed his lips at you when he realised what you had done but became distracted by Luci's giggles. He pulled her up to stand on his thighs and cuddled her to his chest. 

"What is she like" he pondered sarcastically, pecking Luci's cheeks. You put on her mouse ears and took a photo of the two of them. You flicked through the previous photos taken today on the camera as Rafael asked,

"What's the plan now?"

"Go out, do the theme parks, visit the castle, eat. There's pancakes in that bag" you gestured to the brown paper bag on the coffee table. Rafael reached over still holding Luci and dug out a pancake.

"They're cold."

You rolled your eyes. You couldn't help getting irritated at Rafael's criticism of everything you did during this trip. 

"Well they were hot when I bought them" You shot back. He didn't seem to notice your mood and continued his playing with Luci. You decided to let it slide and enjoy this holiday you had been looking forward to for all of you.

The day passed so fast. Rafael carried Luci as you took endless snaps of them against the sights. You visited the castle and rode the spinning teacups. You ate dinner in Woodie's cabin where you met several Toy Story characters. In the evening you watched the parade. You had never seen Luci so still and quiet as she watched the characters, insects and pumpkin carriages lit up pass by. Even Rafael looked impressed at the display. You retired to your room after midnight. You lay Luci in her cot, sound asleep after the day's activities. You changed into a slip as Rafael brushed his teeth in the bathroom. You posed on the bed and just before he came out, you put on your mouse ears.

"Hey you."

Rafael snorted when he saw you. "You are so odd" he laughed to himself and walked around the bed until he was behind you. You were expecting to feel his hands on your waist or his lips on your neck so was taken back to hear the clicking of keypad buttons. You turned over on your back and saw him checking his phone with a frown.

"What's up?" You asked, slightly annoyed.

"Work" he mumbled, still staring at the phone screen. You reached out your arm and could just touch him before he moved away slightly. Your arm was left dangling over the edge of the bed. You counted to three in your head to calm your temper that was building, because this was Luci's holiday and Rafael promised to go ages ago and he's probably just stressed-

"I need to go back early, I'll have to leave in the morning" he interrupted your stream of thought. You stared blankly at him before he continued,

"You"ll be OK with Luci for another day and the flight home right?" He looked at you for an answer.

You spoke slowly, "we've only been here one day and you're leaving?"

"I know but-"

"This trip that you postponed twice to be able to go and you're leaving early?!"

"This case that I'm on-"

"I don't care about your fucking case Rafael!"

He leaned towards you, "stop cursing Luci is just on the other side of that thin wall."

"Yeah you can kiss her goodbye when you leave the family trip early." 

You met his eyes and held them. "Is it really work?"

He furrowed his brows, "what?"

"Well you won't touch me. You haven't done in weeks. You say to Luci, 'loca mami, what's she up to now, crazy mummy, daft mummy, naughty mummy.' Where is this coming from?"

"Are you accusing me of something?"

"Should I be?"

Rafael scoffed and walked away from your side towards the living room. 

"Going already? Quelle surprise" You called after him.

Rafael spun round and raised an eyebrow at you, "Excuse me?"

You sat up sharply and crossed your legs under you, bracing yourself for the fight that was about to erupt. "You can't wait to go back to work and back to Olivia and your friends at SVU. You hate having to go on holiday to relax, hell you didn't even want a honeymoon with me so we didn't have one!"

"I asked YOU if you wanted one and YOU said no!"

"I said whatever you want to do and YOU said that work was busy and we can postpone it.."

"Yeah and then you said you didn't want one anyway!"

"I only said that to lower my expectations so I wouldn't be as upset if it didn't happen. I hoped you'd surprise me anyway."

Rafael shook his head exasperated, "I'm not a mind-reader just say what you want. If you want to have one we will."

You huffed, "as if I'm in the mood to go anywhere with you now. You'd leave before dessert. 'They need me' you'd say. " you felt tears forming in your eyes as suppressed feelings made their way to the surface. "You're only here for Luci."

"Well it is Disneyland, not exactly a high-end resort."

You shook your head at his misunderstanding, "you're only in this relationship because of Luci."

You closed your eyes and eventually heard him reply in a quiet voice, "that's not true."

You looked at him again and asked carefully, "If I hadn't been pregnant when we had that huge fight nearly two years ago, would you not have left me in that hotel suite?"

Rafael looked down at his feet and made no attempt to lie. He had answered your worst fear correctly.

"So do you feel trapped by me?"

He seemed shocked by your abruptness, "I love you. And Luci."

"Do you sometimes feel trapped with me and like you could have been a free man, sailing with the DA, skiing with the Mayor, travelling the world with a wonderful companion if not for me?"

He lowered his gaze, "sometimes."

You bit your lip and brushed your tears away. One final thing you had to ask,

"Are you having an affair?"

You heard his breath catch in his throat, "of course not, you know what my schedule is like-"

You held up your hand to stop him, "So you've thought about it? And you're saddened that your work hours are restricting you from fucking your mistress?"

Rafael gawped at you wordlessly. You tried again, "have you thought about it?"

No response.

"Have you met someone who you thought, hm I'd love to fuck them tonight, if only my timetable allowed it."

"Watch your language."

"Yes or no??!!!"

A single brief nod nearly tore your heart. You kept yourself together for the last bit of questioning,

"You have met someone?"

A nod.

"And you like them?"

Another nod. Rafael avoided your glare, his face turning redder with shame by the second.

"Thank you for being honest. I should have listened to my father, he told me 'never trust a lawyer.' Though it did take some prodding to get the truth eventually. You can leave whenever you want."

You scooted back up the bed and lifted the covers over you. You heard Rafael's feet against the carpet, moving into the living room, most likely to seek comfort in his daughter's room, where she lay sleeping and oblivious to her parents' fight. You breathed in deeply, and held your breath as you started to cry. You muffled your sobs into your pillow. You prayed the sun would rise soon so he would be gone. Away from you and the hurt you felt.

You sniffled and sighed, where do you go from here?


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for all the comments in the first chapter, I am so happy that you like this series and I hope to add a few more parts to it over time. I tried to tie in this chapter with a recent episode of SVU, not really pleased with how it turned out, hopefully its ok and you'll enjoy. So thanks again for reading, it makes my day to get your kind and supportive comments!

You woke up hours later, surprised you got any sleep at all. You looked over your shoulder and saw Rafael lying behind facing you. He was awake and studying you. You faced forward again and sighed, closing your eyes to block out the light. 

"Let me explain" you heard his voice from behind. 

"Fuck off" was the only response you could muster.

You felt a hand at your back, "carino.."

"Do not 'carino' me!" You shrugged yourself away from his touch. You ground your teeth as he dug his arm under your pillow and shuffled close so his chest was against your back. You couldn't move further as you were laying at the edge of the bed. He kissed your neck, ignoring your flinch.

“I have never cheated on you.”

“But you thought about it. At some stage in your day, you pondered what it would be like to screw someone else. That's premediation, BABE.”

He wrapped his other arm around your waist, “It wasn't like that. You know I would never do that to you.”

“Aren't you the saint” you scoffed. He sighed into your ear and lay back again. 

“I thought you had to leave for 'work'.”

“I...told them I couldn't. I organised another ADA to take over.”

You snorted, “Isn't it amazing how suddenly work can be less urgent and put on hold.”

He caught your arm and rolled you over to face him. You stared up blankly into his face.

“I love you” he whispered, his eyes round with sincerity. 

“Is it someone at work?” you asked quietly.

He bit his lip and looked away.

“I won't drop this until you tell me. If you can't be honest then we won't last long.”

His mouth dropped open a little, “I want you.” He held your face in his hands, “always.” When you made no attempt to respond, he breathed out deeply.

“I had a...moment with Olivia.”

You raised your eyebrows in shock and swallowed painfully, “Ok.” You could barely get the word out. Your heart started to race as he shuffled closer so your noses almost touched.

“I found out that she was sleeping with someone with Internal Affairs and I couldn't help but feel a sense of jealousy. It made my mind wander to what it would be like..to be with her.” 

You bit your lip to stop it quivering. You had asked him to tell you but you hadn't anticipated how you would react when he did. He started to rub your back as he continued.

“And do you know what?”

You shook your head once, torn between not wanting to hear more and yet needing to. 

Rafael mumbled, “It wouldn't be half as good as it is with you and Luci.” He leaned in close to peck your lips.

You huffed hesitantly, “You're just saying that because you're stuck with me.”

“I'm stuck with you because I want to be. And I know I don't say it enough but you make me realise that everyday.”

“But that night in the hotel suite..”

“That's only a reminder of how stupid I was.” He started tracing gentle circles on your hip.

You lay your hand on his chest and relished in the feel of his skin again, which you had missed.

“I thought I annoy you, we seem to spend less and less time together..”

He sighed, “Work. More and more difficult and sickening cases and I know you would try and comfort me and I wanted to shield you and Luci from it all.” He kissed you again, this time you returned it also. “But I never meant to neglect you. I love you so much.”

You turned onto your back and thought to yourself as you gazed at the ceiling. You could feel him analysing your expressions which you tried to keep neutral as you thought through what he had just said. You looked at him from the side of your eyes and pursed your lips.

“You either mean all of that or you're fooling me. Well.”

You could hear him sniggering. He stroked your cheek before placing his arm over your stomach. “Which do you think it is?” he teased, nibbling your earlobe.

You couldn't help smiling and turning a bit towards him. You ran your hands over his shoulders then up towards his neck and along his jawline, refamiliarising yourself with his skin, every smooth and rough patch you thought you'd never forget. You held your lips an inch from his and whispered so he'd feel every syllable,

“Convince me Mr Barba.”

He smirked as he combed his fingers through your hair, “Yes Mrs Barba.”

You let him kiss you, his tongue wetting your bottom lip. You sighed against him and pulled away. 

“I'm sorry for last night..”

“It's ok.” He held you tightly to him as you rested your head against his chin. 

“No its not” you mumbled. “I speak before I think. And I curse too much.”

“That's why I love you” he kissed your hairline. “Now, where are those mouse ears?”

The mattress shook as you struggled to contain your laughter. You rolled onto your back, bringing Rafael to lie on top as you searched for the ears beside the bed, your efforts slowed down by him sucking on your collarbone. Your hands fumbled along the floor until you felt the soft velvet material. You lifted the hairband up to your head and put it on, instantly drawing a cheeky grin from Rafael. He kissed you feverishly as his hands wandered down your body, his lips suppressing your quiet moans. Suddenly a cry from the other side of the bedroom wall brought you both back to reality. Rafael buried his face in your neck and sighed. You curled your fingers in his hair and whispered,

“You stay here. I'll feed her.”

One final kiss and he let you out from under him. You wrapped your dressing gown around you and gave him the ears which to your amusement, he fitted them on his head. 

You winked, “Don't fall asleep, I'll be back.”

At the bedroom door you looked over your shoulder at Rafael, his eyes getting heavy with sleep. “I love you.”

He smirked as he tried to fight his tiredness, “hurry back soon.”

Oh, you would indeed.


End file.
